Mar.14
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This Week in Schadenfreude: I've Got Wild Staring Eyes

There are more than a few obstacles to a potential J.D. Vance presidency, and among those is that he puts off a vibe that we would describe as... creepy. Maybe that's not fatal; Richard Nixon put out a similar vibe, and we know what happened with him. In any event, in the last couple of weeks, since the performance with Volodymyr Zelenskyy in the Oval Office, the Internet has absolutely exploded with memes meant to emphasize Vance's weirdness. Some are meant to be funny, but the predominant aesthetic is actually "surreal." We thought we'd share 10 of them:

  1. Say Pwease: Did we mention that many of the memes also infantilize Vance?

    A picture of Vance on the sofa in the Oval Office, with the caption 'You have to say pwease and tank you, Mistow Zensky'

  2. The Lollipop Guild: It's not entirely clear from this specimen, but this one is inspired by The Wizard of Oz.

    Vance's official portrait, except with him wearing a beanie and holding a big lollipop

  3. The Candy Man Can: And this one, of course, is inspired by Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

    Vance, on the Oval Office sofa, with a purple face, and the caption 'For the last time, Mr. Wonka, I did not try any experimental gum, and frankly I find this entire line of questioning insulting.'

  4. Big Giant Head: If you look closely, you can see that someone has actually put together a meme generator that allows users to easily make grotesque versions of Vance's head. This one looks very much like Little Face from Dick Tracy.

    Vance with a giant head and a tiny face

  5. Here's the Story...: This cultural reference will presumably reach its expiration date in the not-too-distant future, since the show has been off the air for 50 years. But we're not there quite yet.

    A mock-up of the final shot from the Brady Bunch credits, with nine different versions of Vance looking at the other versions of Vance

  6. Animated, Part I: This one was created by Mike Winkelmann, who is a very prominent graphic artist, and who works under the name BEEPLE. It's actually animated; the couple shown walks forward, and Vance's smile slowly becomes more cherubic (or more menacing). You can see it here, but you have to have an Instagram account. It's really quite mesmerizing, and cutouts of just the curly-haired Vance are EVERYWHERE right now.

    A couple strolls through a grass field, where curly-haired Vances are growing like pumpkins. There are also several giant Vance heads in the sky, along with a rainbow.

  7. Animated, Part II: This one is also animated, and is also quite mesmerizing. It actually shows a 360-degree rotating Vance bust, which blinks. You can see it here; again, you have to have an Instagram account.

    Blue background, very chubby-faced Vance with long, curly hair

  8. Better Dead than Red... Headed?: Not funny, but "Ginger Vance," as this one is titled, is definitely surreal.

    Vance with his regular beard, but freckled face, very red hair, very blue eyes, a bowl cut, and a creepy expression

  9. The Real J.D.: This one circulated after the non-SOTU, of course.

    A muscular Vance, with long and flowing hair, looking somewhat like the romance-novel-cover model Fabio, stands up behind Donald Trump during the SOTU

  10. The Dark Side: We had Dark Brandon, soon we'll have Dark Vance.

    XXX

  11. Vance Responds: The Vice President, for his part, has seen the memes and says he likes them and finds them funny. He posted this to eX-Twitter, in response (if you don't know the reference, it's Rick Dalton from Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood).

    Rick Dalton, with Vance's head, wears 1960s clothes, holds a beer, and points angrily at a TV in front of him

In addition to Vance's "ha, ha" response, some right-wing commenters have opined that: (1) these memes actually help Vance by making him relatable, or (2) that Vance benefits from the memery getting played out right now, such that it will be old hat and boring by the time he runs for president.

For our part, we don't believe any of this. We don't think Vance likes being mocked relentlessly on the Internet any more than Nixon liked being mocked on Laugh-In, despite claims to the contrary. We also don't think that memes that present him as strange, grotesque and childlike make him relatable. And we definitely don't think that Vance memery can ever be played out. Anyone who says that is unfamiliar with the many and varied notions that the world's meme creators manage to come up with, once they are suitably inspired. And Vance, after his shameful behavior with Zelenskyy, clearly inspires them. (Z)


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