Dem
47
GOP
53
Today's mailbag is on the hefty side, because it covers a couple of weeks. We had already selected the letters for last weekend when plans were foiled by (Z)'s ER trip. So, we'll roll those into this week. Even then, we got so many teacher nightmare stories that we'll hold some of those next week.
Q.F. in Boulder, CO, writes: I wanted to thank your readers for their kind words and suggestions. 2024 was a difficult year in many respects, culminating in the loss of something that remains to be measured.
I was surprised to find people had answered me. Good suggestions, thank you. Currently I have no car, so I am very limited in what I can do, but hopefully will fix that in the New Year. One of my hobbies is pinball: The online community is 99% middle-aged U.S. white men. So I find myself constantly arguing on a site that isn't even about politics. It really is hard to get away from it. But I'll keep trying. Thank you all again, it's nice to know I'm not as alone as it seems.
B.H. in Frankfort, IL, writes: This week, President Biden signed into law the Social Security Fairness Act, HR 82. The bill eliminates the Windfall Elimination Provision (WEP) and the Government Pension Offset (GPO). To quote President Biden, "This is a big fu**ing deal." These two policies made many public employees second-class citizens by lowering earned benefits. Briefly, because of WEP, people with a government pension had their earned Social Security benefit slashed by as much as 60% just because they had a pension. GPO lowered death benefits to survivors. What kind of people came up with that idea? The kind that get elected. All this while billionaires collect full benefits.
But not all elected officials are heartless. Every now and then some actually stand up for the little people. HR 82 was pushed through the House by Abigail Spanberger (D-VA) and Garret Graves (R-LA) with a discharge petition. It was accomplished under the radar. It is refreshing to see something that helps the often overlooked teachers, police, firefighters, and other public employees. As a retired public employee, I applaud Reps. Spanberger and Graves, as well as President Biden, and all who voted for this legislation. I never thought it would happen.
C.R. in St Louis, MO, writes: You wrote that Net Neutrality was one of President Biden's crowning achievements, but he really neglected the FCC and forfeited his chances of big changes there. Biden waited a baffling 9 months into his tenure to nominate Jessica Rosenworcel as the new chairperson and then her replacement as commissioner, Gigi B. Sohn. Biden's choices meant that both had to get Senate approval and could have left the FCC with a 2-1 GOP majority if either or both didn't get (re)confirmed in swift order by January 2022. That swift confirmation only happened for the chairwoman. The pick of Sohn was extremely unpalatable to many in the Senate minority and in the telecom industry. Her nomination foundered for over a year until finally withdrawn in March 2023. The result was the FCC left in 2-2 limbo for over half of his presidency and a delay in Net Neutrality until it will now have no friendly FCC to advocate for it on appeal. I'm not sure if more alacrity would have got Net Neutrality through a SCOTUS review by the time Trump took office, but Biden's handling of the FCC was very poor.
J.I. in San Francisco, CA, writes: I've been suspecting that the sudden (re-kindled) interest in Greenland, as well as Panama and Canada, has to be due to someone in Donald Trump's orbit that has been feeding this to him, possibly some Russian-affiliated operative, because if he were to do any of these things, it legitimizes Russia invading Ukraine. Even the language used by conservatives about Greenlanders ("they should be honored for the U.S. to take them over") mirrors that used by Russia when first going into Ukraine ("they will welcome us with open arms"). It would also presumably give cover for Russia to do additional invasions/acquisitions, such as Lithuania or Poland, to "unite" the Russian exclave of Kaliningrad to the main part of Russia.
M.T. in Linköping, Sweden, writes: In your schadenfreude item about Denmark poking Trump in the eye by changing its coat of arms for the first time in 500 years by highlighting Greenland and the Faroe Islands, you missed the most important change. To make room for the symbols of Greenland and the Faroe Islands, the Danes struck the three crowns of Sweden. A half millennium after Sweden got rid of the last Danish king, Christian II (in Sweden called Christian the Tyrant), our southern neighbors finally bowed to reality and accepted Sweden as a lost cause.
But times they are a-changing, and due to Vladimir Putin's recruiting efforts, Sweden is now a fellow NATO member and thereby we are now a close ally to our ancient archenemy. If anyone dares to encroach on Denmark's territorial integrity, in violation of international law, Sweden will honor the solidarity obligation within NATO and consider an attack on Denmark as an attack on our own country. Maybe there are some schadenfreude there, but also a lot of freudenfreude.
L.S. in Queens, NY, writes: I have an idea of how to make Donald Trump lose interest in the Panama Canal. Congress should write a bill to rename the "Panama Canal" as "the John McCain Canal." John McCain was born in the area, after all.
S.K. in Bloomfield Township, MI, writes: I was thinking if the Gulf of Mexico's name was changed to Gulf of America, and then if Mexico decided to change its name to America to maintain the association, its citizens would then be called Americans and our anti-immigration folks would have to complain about Americans crossing over into our country.
With our melting arctic, I understand Greenland's strategic importance. But rather than conquer the island, why couldn't Trump get Denmark to allow us to set up military base(s) there? Or doesn't Denmark sell or rent to convicted felons?
Maybe Trump's desire to have Canada be part of the Union is the foundation of his concept of a plan to fix our health care system.
S.N. in Sparks, NV, writes: If Donald Trump (a.k.a. Cadet Bone Spurs) was a strategic thinker, his aspirations to convert Canada into the 51st American state and to add Greenland as a territorial possession would make some sense. These potential changes could be directly tied to fossil fuels, which Trump adores. The faster the Greenland glaciers and Arctic ice melt, the faster land will be uncovered for mineral and fossil fuel exploitation. Canada and Greenland have lots of territory that fulfills these desires. Once Canada and Greenland are under U.S. control, then the Arctic can be split up between the U.S. and Russia. A win-win situation.
I actually think Trump is looking in the wrong direction for adding a 51st state, though. He really should be looking south to Mexico. Annexing Mexico would have a lot of positive effects. Trump could brag about bringing manufacturing back to the U.S. He could use the U.S. military to attack drug cartels without creating an international incident. Trump could build a wall on the southern border which would be a lot shorter and cheaper than building along the Rio Grande. Undocumented individuals who came from Mexico could be considered early adopters of American culture, so no need to deport them. And he could make a rational argument for changing the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America. Of course, not everything would be rosy in this scenario. Annexing Mexico would add a lot of brown-skinned people to the U.S. population, which Trump and his MAGA supporters definitely don't want.
J.R. in Ottawa, ON, Canada, writes: Canada is ready:
(V) & (Z) respond: Talk about a Frostacotta Army.
A.H. in Newberg, OR, writes: Being fully aware of your disdain for our militant neighbors to the north, I thought you might find this appropriate:
A.R. in Los Angeles, CA, writes: Donald Trump's sentencing, which he tried desperately to stop, juxtaposed against Jimmy Carter's memorial the day before, made for a stark contrast. Carter's character and integrity, his lifelong public service, his commitment to peace and partnership, are all traits that Trump doesn't understand and holds in contempt. If you only listen to one speech from Carter's service, I recommend listening to his grandson Jason. His eloquent tribute showcased Carter's tremendous empathy, humility and dedication to helping others. Some important quotes: "He had the courage and strength to stick to his principles even when they were politically unpopular." "He deregulated so many industries—he gave us cheap flights and craft beer—basically, he was the first millennial." "Guinea worm disease existed from the dawn of humanity until Jimmy Carter." "When he saw a tiny 600 person village, he recognized it. That's where he was from and who he was—it was a place to find partnership and power." "He eradicated a disease with love and respect. He waged peace with love and respect. He led this nation with love and respect." "His life was a love story."
Trump never asks how he can help; he only looks for someone to blame. It's always someone else's problem, so he doesn't have to do anything. That's what the next 4 years will bring—denial, deflection, distraction, drama and chaos. Whatever disasters befall the American people, we're on our own because he'll find a way to make it our fault. As an Angeleno for over 30 years, I am heartbroken by the devastation from these fires. But if this disaster had to strike, I'm glad it hit while Joe Biden is still president. He did exactly what he was supposed to do—he visited briefly, promised federal aid and then got out of the way so our valiant first responders could continue their heroic work.
During sentencing, ADA Joshua Steinglass noted Trump's attacks on the system, the rule of law, the Court, staff, and prosecutors. The President-elect has not accepted any responsibility for his actions and, despite getting off scot-free, still insists he was treated "unfairly."
Judge Juan Merchan, in giving the sentence of an unconditional discharge, correctly noted that the office, not the occupant, is afforded this extraordinary consideration, and the voters' choice for that office was Trump. That choice should be accorded some respect. I was gratified that Merchan made that distinction. Trump is a convicted felon. We can respect the office while recognizing the very real flaws of the incoming occupant. Godspeed to us all.
M.A. in Tucson, AZ, writes: Quick question... after reading this week's Q&A, I wondered if you knew that Donald Trump was now a convicted felon? I would have thought you would mention that, but nothing...
(V) & (Z) respond: We can't believe we missed that story.
R.C. in Richardson, TX, writes: You wrote: "Note also that while we would not use insulting nicknames for the President-elect, we might spend an entire day where we describe him as a convicted felon on every single reference. Though we'd only do that if it amused us."
Ha, ha, thanks for doing this, it for sure amused me.
M.T. from Wheat Ridge, CO, writes: All I can say is "chef's kiss."
It was definitely worth the extra 62 words to include it every... single... time.
R.L.P. in Santa Cruz, CA, writes: I love love love your repeated use of "convicted felon Trump" and "Trump (a convicted felon)." Please keep it up as long as Trump (a convicted felon) continues to appear in your writings. I hope never again to see the name "Trump" on Electoral-Vote.com website without "convicted felon" abutting it. Even if "Trump" appears in a quotation, you can (and please do) insert "[a convicted felon]" following it, inside the quotation marks.
(V) & (Z) respond: We got a LOT of letters cheering what we did yesterday; the handful here are just a small sampling. That said, if we did it every day, it would get old kind of fast. That does not mean we can't, and won't, do it judiciously, here and there, as appropriate.
There were also a couple of readers who complained that our little running joke was demeaning to all convicted felons, and that it makes a mockery of their ability to rehabilitate and become productive members of society. We are well aware that many convicted felons have paid their debts and reinvented themselves; we have more than one reader who stands as testament to this. So, we don't really see the argument. That said, we can at least be semi-mindful of those who feel this way.
K.H. in Golden, CO, writes: With due reverence for the great Garrett Morris, I just wish someone would go on a news cast and announce, for the hard of hearing: "OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT: DONALD JOHN TRUMP IS STILL A CONVICTED FELON!" every night until eternity ends.
A.M. in Brookhaven, PA, writes: Given that in just over a week it won't make sense to refer to convicted felon Trump as TFG (The Former Guy), I think the new policy should be to refer to him as TCF (The Convicted Felon).
T.V., Kansas City, MO, writes: Because Donald Trump (who is a convicted felon, in case you hadn't heard) has the complexion of a cantaloupe, I would like to suggest a new nickname for him going forward:
Convicted Melon.
C.S. in Minneapolis, MN, writes: The Agent Orange moniker is brilliant. I am experiencing the joy of AO consequences—cancer and metabolic disorders—and believe that labeling that guy Agent Orange is rather smart. Given his toxicity and harm that may befall this and future generations, should we consider him a Super Fund site?
But be careful. You might be giving a deadly dioxin a bad name.
J.M. in Albany, CA, writes: (Z) wrote: "It is also important to realize that while Co-President-elect Elon Musk is conservative, he is intelligent and has a good grasp of reality and an especially good grasp of what is good for Elon Musk."
While this could have been feasibly argued 5 or 10 years ago, it really does not describe the current Musk mindset, which seems to have been trending heavily towards "risky," "unhinged" and "extremist ideologue" as of late.
Musk is a person whose family, education, and general mindset were molded in and benefited from a deeply reactionary, white supremacist/Afrikaner nationalist context in Apartheid-era South Africa. Now that he is comfortably the wealthiest person in world history, he has been quite freely spending his money and political influence/capital to advance a noxious, destructive agenda that is functionally identical to that of extreme right-wing neofascist parties worldwide, including MAGA. By Musk's own retweets and words, this clearly includes advancing 19th-century Social Darwinism, scientific racism, and colonialist ideas of "reality" that involve conquest and subjugation, so I see no reason he would object to dangerous policies like invading Greenland (with its rare Earth minerals) and Panama, annexing Canada, or even using atomic weapons on Iran.
At this point, Musk's theoretical "intelligence" and mindset seems more similar to that of oligarchic neofascist demagogues like Donald Trump, Viktor Orbán, or Vladimir Putin (with their tenuous, oppressive, and risky concepts of "reality") than his ideologically-flexible, opportunistic billionaire peers such as Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg. If we really have to find a rough parallel to Musk, it would probably be necessary to go back 100 years to the Hitler-loving Henry Ford, whose success was almost certainly negatively impacted in the long run by the expression of his extreme ideologies—but like Musk, I doubt Ford cared, because he was a true believer.
J.D.W. in Baltimore, MD, writes: In response to the question from T.H. in Champaign about the location of the photo from Jimmy Carter's inaugural parade, I think I can be of assistance since I lived in Washington, DC for more than 12 years while working for the federal government. The key to determining the photo's location is the distinctive looking building behind the president's right hand. It is a former Masonic temple that today houses the National Museum of Women in the Arts, though the museum was not located in that building until 1987.
Because that building is in the background at that specific angle, I can say with pretty high confidence that the Carters are walking west on New York Avenue NW along the south side of the New York Avenue Presbyterian Church, where President Lincoln worshiped. You can see a similar view on Google Street View here. The other buildings on the right side of the photo have since been replaced by the boxy office buildings that characterize much of downtown DC today. This route leads directly to the portion of Pennsylvania Avenue that runs along the north side of the White House.
By the way, the National Museum of Women in the Arts has an excellent collection, so I highly encourage anyone planning a D.C. visit to add it to their itinerary!
A.A. in Beechhurst, NY, writes: That picture was taken at the intersection of 15th Street and New York Avenue, as the procession was turning into Pennsylvania Avenue, very near the White House. Nowhere near the Canadian Embassy. The buildings in the background are on New York Avenue.
T.S. in Washington, DC, writes: The building in the right background looks to be the Old Post Office building, aka the Trump International Hotel/whatever it's getting renamed.
J.O. in Ithaca, NY, writes: I can't testify to the location of the picture, but my wife and I were there and remember both the excitement of them walking, and how cold the day was. The National Guard was out the day before with ice chippers (I saw them) and flamethrowers (by common report).
T.K. in St. Louis, MO, writes: B.B. in St. Louis wrote that the Post Dispatch will no longer offer a print edition. This isn't correct. Those of us in the St. Louis region will still be able to get a print edition. The print operation has moved to Columbia, MO, presumably to cut costs.
L.S. in Portland, OR, writes: You wrote: "...we believe that the three largest cities that are currently without a daily print newspaper are Pittsburgh, Salt Lake City and Birmingham."
Portland, OR, (population 630,000) once had a couple of daily newspapers that have since folded (no pun intended!). The Oregonian, published in Portland, is technically the state's paper of record, but also our local daily. I scour it online every morning (right after I devour Electoral-Vote.com!), but its print edition is published maybe (?) twice or thrice a week. And it's REALLY THIN!
M.S. in Newton, MA, writes: As an Orthodox Jew who actually thought about the question from B.J. in Arlington quite a bit, I enjoyed your answer and the source you used. You did miss one thing at the end of the paragraph you quoted: "Even when it is permitted to delay a funeral, efforts should be made to ensure that the delay is no more than twenty-four hours."
Basically, even waiting for relatives or dignitaries, the body still needs to be in the ground very quickly. To give you an example, my grandmother passed away on a Saturday. You can't do a Jewish funeral on the Sabbath, so normally the appropriate day would have been Sunday. However, since you can't use phone or electricity on the Sabbath, some people weren't informed until Saturday night, where a Sunday funeral was just not logistically possible. In this case, the funeral was Monday morning.
J.L. in Chicago, IL, writes: Agreeing with what you wrote about the likely timing of the burial of a Jewish president, I wanted to add that, while we have not had a Jewish president, we have had other Jewish public officials for whom there was a desire to provide similar honors so there is precedent. Perhaps the best example, at least in recent times, was Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who was buried 11 days after her death.
At the risk of some dark humor on this point, although humor I think she would have appreciated, then-President Trump announced that he would not make a nomination to fill her seat until after her burial. I recall thinking that she surely would have said that if he would stick to that, set aside Jewish tradition and put her on display like Lenin for 4 years, if necessary.
J.R. in Orlando, FL, writes: You wrote: "[Matt] Gaetz is just like Kari Lake; popular enough to get a nomination, not popular enough to get a win."
As a Floridian who lives in Orlando but works in the Space Coast, I don't believe this to be true. He may be popular in the panhandle, but most of us in the peninsula, including Republicans I talk to, actively dislike him. Considering the primary would be statewide and the majority of the population lives in the peninsula, I don't think he could win a statewide primary.
That being said, being able to get home insurance is the biggest issue for most Floridians (at least those fortunate enough to own a home). I personally was dropped from my insurance company, as they were leaving the state. Every major insurer I called would not even give me a quote once I said I lived in Florida. From what I've gathered online, most Floridians blame Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-FL) for this problem due to his laws making it easier for contractors to directly message insurance companies and sue them. It was at the point where contractors would go door to door claiming you needed a new roof (when you didn't) and that they would get the insurance company to pay for it.
All that is to say, if there is a candidate that could make the electorate believe they can fix the issue DeSantis left behind in regards to insurance companies, I believe they will run away with the gubernatorial election.
E.S. in Providence, RI, writes: In response to your notes on the governor's races, Gov. Dan McKee (D-RI) is actually quite likely to face a primary race. His approval rating has been hovering around 37% for about the last year. His disapproval rating has been around 52%. Much of it has to do with the structural failure of an Interstate 195 bridge that has been shut down for a year, with no foreseeable date for when it will be replaced. Add to that a crisis-level shortage of affordable housing, and a recent data theft from a key state government database.
Since 1985, Rhode Island has had three Democratic and three Republican governors, with the Republicans being of the old Main Street/pro-business variety. There are, however, two types of RI Democrats: old school progressives, and Democrats who vote like old-school centrist Republicans, but run as Democrats because Republicans rarely break double digits in the General Assembly. I expect there to be several primary challengers to McKee from both the progressive wing and the centrist wing.
B.J. in Arlington, MA, writes: J.M. in Stamford asked whether there was any way to get top-tier architects to invest their talents in less glamorous buildings for the masses instead of sparkly ones for the elites.
I suspect this is a problem in every field. I happen to be a software engineer at a "well known technology company." It is famously true inside the company that the path to prestige and promotion is to design and build shiny new products or features that appeal to what the executives are obsessed with that year. Incremental minor features, bug fixes, usability improvements, etc., for long-existing and even highly profitable products and systems are less well rewarded. The result is predictable: The best people work on the newest things, maintaining old things is seen as a dead-end role, older products tend to decay, and there is a lot of churn and confusion in the product set.
C'est la vie.
J.E. in San Jose, CA, writes: In response to J.M. in Stamford, I would add that developers are in the business of making money, as most businesses are, and there is not a lot of profit in distinguished edifices, what with the added expense of hiring designers, needing additional material, etc.
So not only are plainer, simpler buildings easier to design but they can be replicated in more places at a lower cost. Capitalism, baby!
L.O.-R. in San Francisco, CA, writes: J.M. in Stamford relates that the dean of a university's school of architecture said you don't win prizes for working on apartments and tract houses. This is way out of my area of expertise, but I know David Baker Architects in San Francisco has won a slew of awards, many for their affordable housing buildings. The premise of the response appears to be false—if one architect in one city has won this many awards for this type of housing, I can only imagine how many others have won similar awards elsewhere. I only know this because I have seen a wide range of beautiful affordable housing buildings go up in San Francisco over the past 20 years, nearly all contributing positively to our urban landscape.
M.M. in San Diego, CA, writes: J.M. in Stamford asked about architecture students' interest and incentives in designing for the masses. I'm not an architect, but I worked in the Architecture Library of Georgia Tech's School of Architecture in the early 90s. The students of that era (Gen Xers) were seriously committed to designing sustainable housing built with locally sourced materials. They were very aware of the environmental impact on the land and the surrounding community of any building site and new structures. They were also interested in urban-renewal projects and low-income housing designs. Only the wealthy have bespoke homes designed by architects, but I've no doubt that those Georgia Tech grads who specialized in residential architecture are all incorporating the latest environmentally friendly designs and technology into their commissions and are turning out inspired buildings.
T.L. in West Orange, NJ, writes: In response to A.B. in Wendell, you wrote: "And at the high school level, grades in honors and AP courses are treated as being on a 5-point scale (in other words, extra credit). So, an A is worth 5.0, a B is worth 4.0, etc. That means it's possible to graduate with a weighted GPA of 4.7 or 4.8 (some mandatory classes, like PE, are always on a 4-point scale)."
I remember this well. Back when I was riding my pterodactyl to high school (i.e., the mid-1980s), there were about half a dozen of us who were plausibly in the running for valedictorian. Most of us didn't care at all; one person did and was somewhat competitive about it.
GPAs were on the same weighted scale you describe, which meant that for those valedictorian "candidates," one of the classes which held us back the most GPA-wise was PE.
The one hypercompetitive person in the mix happened to throw out her back in tenth grade, and wound up being exempt from PE for 11th and 12th grades. That gave her enough of an edge that she was pretty much guaranteed the valedictorian spot barring something catastrophic, and if memory serves, she did wind up as valedictorian.
I don't think anyone ever openly suggested that she somehow messed up her back deliberately in order to game the system, and I certainly hope that wasn't the case, but I think I and a few people always had a worm of doubt about the whole thing whenever we gave it a few minutes' thought. Nowadays, it's just something I'd use as an argument for why that sort of system for determining valedictorian is faintly ridiculous.
P.S.: It was also a curious thing that the AP U.S. History teacher we all had in 11th grade just happened to be the father of one of the other valedictorian candidates, and how most of us just happened to get weaker grades in his class, despite (or given) the fact that he never returned any of our papers. Curiouser and curiouser.
B.B. in Dothan, AL, writes: I can relate to the situation that A.B. in Wendell is in, as I returned to college several times during my adulthood. I have several recommendations:
- You will be able to file your FAFSA as an independent student. As such, it makes a huge difference to reduce your "employee" income as much as possible. So, for example, consider making your money by selling items on Ebay or taking in boarders. A low income will increase your need-based financial aid, especially grants.
- Pick one school as your preference and establish residency in that state, in order to qualify for in-state tuition fees.
- Most larger organizations have a tuition reimbursement program, so get a job (any job, e.g., dispatcher) at a large law enforcement org (e.g, in Chicago or Baltimore) and then take as many classes as you can at a time (that's how I paid for my masters and doctorate degrees).
- You might consider creating your own apprenticeship by volunteering at a law enforcement agency. For example, most have ride-alongs.
- You can also get a scholarship as a police officer. Many agencies are woefully understaffed, and they will pay your salary while you attend the academy. That will give you law enforcement experience and vocabulary, and possibly exposure to crime scenes and the protocols there. You probably will be able to take as many forensic seminars as you are able.
- One thing I learned from the pay-for-play college entrance scandal is that various departments will advocate for individual students. So you might consider seeking an advocate somewhere.
- Finally, you might want to consider the John Jay College of Criminal Justice in New York City—one of the best in the U.S., if not THE best. Many of the professors also do research.
M.G. in Newtown, PA, writes: Appreciate the insights about modern colleges. My oldest is a senior in high school, so we're in the middle of this process. Your observations about the influence of money and donors ring true; something I noticed at almost every school we toured was a heavy amount of talk surrounding jobs and employability. This is a significant sea change from when I attended college (I'm a little older than Z), when there was much more of a focus during the open houses and tours on the learning aspect of college.
S.S. in Toronto, ON, Canada, writes: S.C. in Tonowanda wrote: "A few years after graduating, I started having nightmares about college..."
In your answer, you indicated that you don't recall having school-related nightmares like this. I have to say that many, many of my friends have shared various versions of the school nightmare—and I have had them many times. I have found that mentioning it to almost anyone draws the response: "Oh, yes. I know that one very well..." and then they go on to describe details. There's a whole variety of them: you go for your final exam and realize you completely forgot to study, or went to the wrong class for the whole semester, or there is no paper to write on, and so on. I wonder whether any other readers would say the same thing.
(V) & (Z) respond: Yes, other readers would say the same thing (keep reading). Clearly, our nightmareless experience is not the norm.
M.S. in Canton, NY, writes: Like S.C. In Tonawanda, I still get nightmares—decades later—about being enrolled in a college class that I forgot to attend. And I also get teacher's nightmares: I walk in on the first day of class, and realize that I have no idea what I'm teaching and that I did not prepare at all. I gather those are actually fairly common. But it turns out that there's also a department chair's nightmare: It's the first day of classes, for some reason one of my faculty has gone missing, and I have to step in and teach a class I know absolutely nothing about. Yes, the obvious solution is simply to announce to the class that unfortunately the instructor is unavailable today, so everyone please come back at the next scheduled class meeting, but somehow I never think of that in the dream.
S.E. in Ha'iku, HI, writes: In response to S.C. in Tonawanda about dreams of school after graduation, I would like to reply by saying that I had the same dreams after graduating from college in 1976, although over time they faded. I still have similar school dreams, but the current theme is that I am back in college but at my current age. I am usually concerned that I am so much older than the "kids" in my class, albeit much smarter, and I am feeling invisible to them (because of my age) and also I am wondering why I am in school at my age in the first place, as I recognize it's unnecessary.
On a similar vein, some 30 years ago I drove a Chevy Suburban for a long time (it made 180,000 miles) after which I bought a new one. They fit my lifestyle and, at the time, gasoline was much cheaper. Since then I have driven much more sensible vehicles. Anyhow, another recurring dream is that I am driving up very steep terrain, or I am out and about but upon returning to my car it isn't where I left it. In all cases I am driving a Suburban.
So my advice to S.C. is to hang in there, enjoy the relief upon awakening, and hope eventually they will fade away. Now that I am nearing retirement after a long career as a software engineer, I am anticipating that a new theme will start entering my dreams. I hope I live long enough for them to fade.
B.W. in West Hartford, CT, writes: I have been teaching college regularly since 1986. I still have dreams about not finishing my BA degree, specifically failing some of my classes because I stopped doing the work or blew off classes. (A side note: when I about to deposit my dissertation and file the final paperwork for my Ph.D. thesis the registrar, someone I had gotten to know well enough to be on a first names basis, called me in to his office and told me that I had not completed all of my requirements for graduation. As I was about to panic he laughed and told me that a condition of my acceptance into my graduate program was completion of the GRE, which I failed to do! He said he was waiving that requirement at this point but that it had come up when he was signing off on my degree!).
I also have bad dreams about not being prepared for the class I am teaching—all the time! But usually these occur a few weeks before the start of the semester, and it spurs me on to complete my syllabus and any other detail work necessary for the start of the semester. The not-completing-college-successfully dreams have become more insistent, actually, and since I'm facing a semester leave right now, the class prep dreams have retreated. Maybe the former dreams have something to do with being the only one of eight kids who graduated college!
M.G. in Boulder, CO, writes: S.C. in Tonawanda wrote about a dream/nightmare they were having about a truly horrible day as a teacher, a day that had never actually happened. As a graduate, I had a recurring dream that I was, for a variety of good reasons, never making it to one of my classes, and midterms were approaching.
I was on campus one day and met one of my favorite professors. We had coffee (or tea, in my case) and I told him about my dream. He said he sometimes had the opposite version. He had a class which, for a variety of good reasons, he had never been able to get to. It met regularly with the students arriving, faithfully and hopefully, three times a week, and though he tried, the professor had never met with the class, and midterms were approaching.
After hearing his version, I never had my dream again.
K.F.K. in Cle Elum, WA, writes: I taught elementary school for 30 years, primarily 5th grade and then kindergarten. I had nightmares at the start of every school year AND off and on since retirement 5 years ago. Mine generally involve a classroom I can't control but the worst may have been the one where parents walk in for a spring conference and I realize I have no idea who their child is. I have also been hired to substitute teach in the school where I worked, only to wander aimlessly around the building looking for the classroom and never finding it before waking up.
The tendency to nightmares may be more about how we're each wired than length of experience—one couldn't last 5 minutes in a kinder classroom if one couldn't respond quickly and creatively to all manner of (ahem) surprises. I also had nightmares every finals week in college, the most amusing of which was being followed by a long black limo in which mobsters were trying to off me.
I have been told I'm highly suggestible (i.e. easy to hypnotize) and my worldview tends toward the mystical and magical realism (think novels by Erdrich or Allende) so there's that.
At any rate, if the nightmares do fade, how nice. If they don't, don't waste too much time analyzing why. My .02.
J.T. in San Bernardino, CA, writes: I want to help S.C. in Tonawanda feel less alone in their recurring academic nightmare. When I was in undergrad and grad school, I frequently had a recurring dream (though the details were probably a little different each time) that it was the last week or so of the semester and I'd enrolled in a class and totally forgotten about it and was distraught about the irreparable damage it was going to do to my GPA.
I've spoken about this to others and have met several people who've had the same nightmare.
Now that I'm a university instructor, I occasionally have a dream along similar lines: that I was assigned to teach a class and then totally forgot about it and become distraught that I'm going to be fired. While I wish it would end with experience, I've been teaching now for 10 years or so and it still pops up occasionally!
B.H. in Greenbelt, MD, writes: I read your answer about the number of living ex-presidents. I calculated this myself a couple of years ago. You noted that there were 5 intervals (not counting Washington) when there were no living Presidents.
It's a little odder when you look for periods where there were no living ex-vice presidents. There are only two such periods. One began with the death of Hannibal Hamlin on July 4, 1891, and ended when Levi P. Morton's term ended on March 4, 1893. The other period began when Morton died on May 16, 1920, and ended when Thomas R. Marshall's term ended on March 4, 1921. Thus Morton served as the end of one of the gaps and as the beginning of the other.
L.E. in Putnam County, NY, writes: No discussion of Fawn Brodie's No Man Knows My History is complete without mentioning Hugh Nibley's response: "No, Ma'am, That's Not History."
R.G.N. in Seattle, WA, writes: Since my primary source of opinions on William McKinley's personal character and sense of decency was based on the opinions of Filipino and Hawaiian friends, I was a bit startled to see (Z) list him as one of the most decent U.S. presidents. McKinley was very much a believer in Manifest Destiny and he was a major supporter of annexing Hawaii and keeping the Philippines after the Spanish American War. I gather that many Filipinos and Hawaiians have rather negative feelings about America's imperialist history. The American public was generally in complete agreement with McKinley's policies and, unlike Jimmy Carter, he was very popular with voters throughout his administration. McKinley's administration took over foreign lands, while Carter returned the Panama Canal. I now understand that McKinley was a very decent man in his personal interactions and a devoted husband, so I appreciate learning a new context to evaluate McKinley by.
(V) & (Z) respond: Yep, that's why you have to separate out policy, particularly policy from many generations past, when answering a question like that.
J.O. in Portsmouth, NH (Staff Archivist of the Warren Harding Administration), writes: You wrote: "Quick, name TWO things that occurred in the administration of Warren Harding. Bet you can't without looking it up."
I did guess Teapot Dome, which I had to look up to confirm.
The second? Beats me!
L.S. in Greensboro, NC, writes: I give you my word of honor that these are off the top of my head, without doing any "looking up":
- Teapot Dome scandal (everyone who reads your site should get this one, since you used it over and over in the "name the scandal" meme during the first Trump administration!).
- He had sex with his mistress in a White House closet.
Do I win a prize?
(V) & (Z) respond: That's what Nan Britton asked.
R.R. in Pasadena, CA, writes: When discussing the movie Pearl Harbor, you wrote: "There's all kinds of other stuff in the film that's ridiculous (like the counterattack on Tokyo, which did not happen), but it's the racist stuff that's really problematic." While I agree with the second half (and that the movie really gets a lot of other stuff very, very wrong), you missed the fact that there was a counterattack on Tokyo, the Doolittle Raid on April 18, 1942. The movie, of course, gets that horribly wrong as well, but the raid really was meant as a response to the Pearl Harbor attack and all of the other Japanese victories after it, and some historians believe it had an influence on Japanese posture and helped set up the Battle of Midway.
There is another movie about the Doolittle Raid, Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo (1944). Based on the book written by Ted Lawson, who was the pilot of the seventh (of sixteen) bombers, The Ruptured Duck, to launch off the carrier Hornet that day. The movie is a faithful retelling of the book's story, helped by the fact that Lawson's co-pilot, Dean Davenport, was a technical advisor and did some of the flying in the movie, and the rest of the Duck's crew also participated in making the film as realistic as possible. The Raiders themselves said the movie was a good portrayal of the events, though obviously some things were changed as the war was still ongoing (and the parts of China where the Raiders landed were still occupied by Japanese forces, who killed an estimated 250,000 Chinese people in retaliation for the raid). The flying scenes used actual Army Air Corps B-25s and replicated the training and flights, with the exception of models used in places they had to be (such as the takeoff from the Hornet, because aircraft carriers were unavailable). I would guess it's about as faithful as a movie could be towards the event in the pre-1950s period, and it's considered one of the best movies about military aviation from the period.
Ted Lawson's book was my entry into an interest in aviation and military history, and the Raiders really deserve all of the credit they get for what they did. It's an amazing story of bravery, one of the best of the entire war.
(V) & (Z) respond: We know about the Doolittle Raid and, as we noted yesterday, we expressed that observation in a manner that did not convey our intent.
S.E. in Ha'iku, HI, writes: I don't consider Apocalypto as a historical film, maybe historical fiction? But it does depict a total eclipse of the sun and a full moon on the same day. That would seem to qualify as inaccurate.
G.L. in Kelowna, BC, Canada, writes: I had to chuckle slightly when reading your description of the oversimplifications and inaccuracies in the movie The Imitation Game; oversimplifying and inaccurately remembering the life and work of Turing et al is, sadly, not unique to movies. Over a decade ago, when I worked in UK politics, I saw a poster campaign that could only have been thought up by a straight person; standing on the railway station in Cheltenham (home of GCHQ, U.K. equivalent of the NSA), with rainbows scattered across the corporate logos on advertising boards for Pride month, GCHQ were exhorting people to "Follow in Turing's footsteps" and to work in Intelligence.
So far as the average LGBTQ+ person is concerned, the U.K. government's relationship with Turing's footsteps is that barely 5 years after his work saved countless lives, they prosecuted him for homosexuality, chemically castrated him when found guilty, and drove him to suicide, for nothing more than his sexual orientation. I, for one, have no intention of being anywhere near those footsteps, and when I quoted the poster over drinks to friends, the reaction ranged from sharp intake of breath, to groans, to swearing. While subsequent actions, including a formal apology from the government for the persecution, and a royal pardon for the conviction, have been welcome, skating over the events and pretending they didn't happen at all in order to focus solely on the bits they want to remember felt very much like a film script's whitewashing, with the director picking the convenient bits for the message, and dropping the rest. But when it's out of a theater, and representing the line of events the government want to put forward, it becomes more ominous.
To be clear: I thought and think that it's great government is no longer persecuting people in that way, and that they want to be employers who attract the full range of talent—but we know our history, and we know when it's being undermined and manipulated, or flat-out ignored.
B.S. in Stanhope, NJ, writes: I appreciated your list of historically inaccurate movies. But I was hoping to find 2015's Stonewall there. This movie made a poolside-soaking cannonball splash at the time of its release for how egregiously misrepresented, and especially whitewashed, the relevant characters and events were. The Advocate even included the movie's protesters in its list of finalists for Person of the Year. It's pretty difficult to find a review of Stonewall that doesn't rake it over the coals. I'll admit, I haven't seen it, but then neither has any other member of the LBGTQ community I know.
D.W. in Evans City, PA, writes: Monty Python and the Holy Grail has received a bit of attention on this site in recent weeks, and I can't help but think the approach is all wrong. This film might be a documentary, but it is first and foremost about safety. During my years of service in the U.S. Army National Guard, I could not go to a hand grenade range, see a hand grenade, or even think about a hand grenade without instantly understanding that after I pull the pin I should count to three. I should not count to four. Five is right out.
L.S. in Queens, NY, writes: You wrote: "That said, we are pretty sure that Monty Python and the Holy Grail is basically documentary-level accurate."
I will blow up your argument with the Holy Hand Grenade.
One!
Two!
Four!
Oops! THREE!
D.E. in Lancaster, PA, writes: M.M. in Plano wrote: "I enjoyed your comments on historical movies. I was raised on the 70mm spectacles of 1956-1970: Around the World in 80 Days, Ben-Hur, Spartacus, Lawrence of Arabia, The Longest Day, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Patton, etc. I wonder if (Z) saw any of these films in theaters? How have you reacted to them?"
Obviously, I can't speak for (Z), but this question reminded me of the first films I saw as a child. I was raised by my Mom and my Grandmom, and they were the best parents I could have ever wished for. One of the many things they did was expose me to wide variety of films at a very young age. Since I was born in the sixties, three of the first four films I saw were in that era of 70mm spectacles. They were, in alphabetical order: 2001: A Space Odyssey; Bambi; How The West Was Won; and The Sound of Music. You have to admit that's a pretty eclectic bunch, especially for the sixties and a seven year old. As an adult, The Sound of Music and How The West Was Won, in their last acts, still scare the crap out of me; and every emotional scar I have stems back to watching Bambi! I have always said that these four films formed the basis of so much of who I became as an adult. For example, The Sound of Music gave me my hatred of Nazis (and, unfortunately, an attraction to blond-haired, blue-eyed young men who proved just as traitorous as Rolfe) and 2001, which instilled my love of science and science fiction and is probably the single most important reason I'm as fu**ed up in the head as I am!
And yes, there is a lot to be said to not only viewing films on a big theater screen, but more importantly that communal feeling of the welling of emotions watching any good film can bring—there's a reason the Greeks were so taken by the idea of catharsis. There is something so inherently enthralling when a film is viewed in a larger than life format. The problem with modern movie theaters—besides postage-stamp-sized screens; cold popcorn and warm sodas; the audio cranked up at such a volume your ears bleed but with the dialog either mumbled or drowned out by way too obtrusive Foley effects; people on there phones; the sticky floors; and people who think you are their for their running commentary track on the film—is that most Americans now days have the attention span of a gnat, which possibly might be an unfair characterization of gnats. But in those rare instances when you luck into an intelligent audience who is living the film in that moment and not through their TikToks afterwards, then the effect is pure magic!
Also, I have to respond to your comments about Pocahontas: The "romance/marriage" between Pocahontas and John Smith was what I was taught in grade school on Virginia history while living in Virginia! It wasn't until we moved to California, when I was 10, that I was told this was a falsehood. I tell you, how Virginia taught history back then was beyond horrifying and it should worry everyone watching Texas, Oklahoma and the other Southern states rewrite their educational programs.
S.B. in Hood River, OR, writes: In response to the question about seeing classic films in a theater, you gave a list of films that are an entirely different experience in a theater. There is a small group of films that are essentially impossible to view at home, and these are the original 3-strip Cinerama. It is an incredible technology, which aimed to duplicate the experience of seeing something in person. The three slaved 35mm cameras produced an incredible width of view, and the curved screen ensured that all the viewers got essentially the same view. The cameras used fixed focal length lenses, intended to approximate the imaging of the eye. And there was a fourth slaved unit that recorded the audio in multichannel, many years before Star Wars.
Most of the films were travelogues, with only two being acted performances: How the West Was Won and The Brothers Grimm. I feel the former is the greatest Western ever made. I am sure it includes many historical inaccuracies, but the scope and impact of the film is awesome, mostly due to the technology, but also due to the star-studded performances and dramatic sequences.
The films were made between 1955 and 1964, and while popular, the huge expense of production, coupled with the difficulty of screening them in the same theater as other films, unfortunately doomed the technology. This is unfortunate as there is no current theater experience like it. IMAX, while impressive, is not a realistic experience.
The last remaining theaters have gone away, one by one. The closing of the Cinerama Dome in L.A. (which hadn't shown any of the films in many years), was the last in the U.S. I believe there is still one operational theater in the U.K.
M.S. in Houston, TX, writes: In your answer to the question from M.M. in Plano about films that really should be watched on a theater's full-size screen, you noted that some suffer on a small screen more than others, and you mentioned The Godfather and Star Wars. But there's an important example you omitted.
I went with a group of friends from grad school—all of us lifelong sci-fi fans—to the first showing in Dallas of 2001: A Space Odyssey in 1968. (This was at the big old Majestic Theater downtown, not some cut-down multiplex, which didn't exist then.) And the cut, from the bone-in-the-air shot to Discovery One floating in space to the strains of "The Blue Danube" quite literally left all of us gasping for breath. I took my kids to see it in a full-size theater revival when they were teenagers. They couldn't believe the difference from the version they had seen on TV.
It's difficult in these days of digital f/x for younger fans to grasp just how visionary and eye-widening Douglas Trumbull's work was.
2001 should be legally prohibited from ever being displayed on anything but a full-size movie screen. To do so is an Offense against Art.
G.M. in Laurence Harbor, NJ, writes: You wrote: "Although the movie where a theater matters the most, in (Z)'s experience, is The Godfather."
I found this comment and other Godfather mentions interesting due to the somewhat peculiar connection I and family members had to the movie. The set for all the exterior shots of the mansion of Vito Corleone was a large house and property in Alpine, NJ. First, my father, who owned a garden shop and did lawn and tree work, removed a tree from the property a few years before. My brother and I were doing lawn work after we graduated from high school, and we were scheduled to do the lawn work on a neighbor's house and production people from The Godfather asked us to forego doing it that day.
Further, my brother had bought a 1939 Chevrolet Master Deluxe Four Door Sedan—black, of course—sort of competing with me in my purchase of a antique 1948 MG-TC. As it went, a friend who owned a local used car lot was asked to supply period cars. He was a big collector and the guy who sold my brother his Chevy. Thus, my brother's car was in the movie. You may recall there were scenes leading up to the Corleone Mansion with several cars parked in the driveway. However, I was never able to place my brother's car. The scene goes by too quickly and I never saw the movie in a theater; only on TV.
Actually, my brother's car meet a sad fate. A while after the movie was completed, he was T-Boned at a intersection. Quite a hit, as the body was mounted on an actual I-Beam. His insurance company totaled the car and hauled it away.
C.T. in Cape Coral, FL, writes: D.S. in Layton asked: "What is the best New Year's Eve movie?"
To your answer, I would add the 1960 winner of the Best Picture Oscar, Billy Wilder's The Apartment. It has a wonderful climatic New Year's Eve scene. The film also features three great Oscar-nominated acting performances.
E.K.H. in San Antonio, TX, writes: Holiday Inn with Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire; if you can ignore a little 1942-era sexism and racism. Lots of great Irving Berlin songs and dancing, including "White Christmas" and "Easter Parade."
M.M. in San Diego, CA, writes: You mustn't leave out After the Thin Man (1936), with at least the first third taking place on New Year's Eve.
D.S. in Lakewood, OH, writes: I thought my favorite deserved a mention: Ghostbusters II.
Not much critical acclaim, but I always thought it was creative and a good sequel for being significantly different from the first movie.
J.R. in New York City, NY, writes: My friends and I decided to watch Marcel the Shell with Shoes On this year. It's the perfect New Year's movie: gentle humor, full of hope and about enjoying the small (and greater) things in life.
I would also vote for Yellow Submarine.
D.S. in Winnetka, CA, writes: Of the Voyager probes, each of them carrying a gold record with a song from Chuck Berry and other information about humanity, you wrote: "Hopefully it is the Vulcans who find the records and not the Romulans. Or the Founders."
I'd be most concerned about the "Shadows" from Babylon 5.
I've been binge re-watching for the first time since it originally aired, and the political parallels to the Donald Trump era are prescient, and very scary.
D.E. in Lancaster, PA, writes: While I enjoyed your mentions of the Star Trek alien races that the NASA space probe Voyager could have met; at the same time I was shocked that you didn't know the true future history of the probes. One of them was blown to pieces as it was used for target practice by the Klingon Captain Klaa in Star Trek: The Final Frontier. In the equally forgettable Star Trek: The Motion Picture, the other Voyager fell into a black hole, only to reappear over a planet populated by aliens who were living machines. Some have theorized that this was the Borg homeworld, or perhaps a colony. These alien machines rescued the probe, repaired it (Why? Don't ask.) and directed it back to Earth, greatly enlarged and missing a few letters in its name. Now calling itself, V'Ger, it sought out its Creator. I can't believe you forgot this: For Shame!
C.C. in Palo Alto, CA, writes: Likely others have written in to share the classic joke about a reply coming back from an alien civilization. When deciphered, it appeared to read: "Send more Chuck Berry."
D.H. in Boston, MA, writes: If the Ferengi discover the Voyager spacecraft, I'm sure they'll melt down the gold records to store some latinum...
L.S. in Queens, NY, writes: I thought you might appreciate some of my science fiction stories.
In 1981, I was in a science fiction club at college. The club was hosting a Halloween event on campus as a fundraiser. I needed a costume. I pondered who I could be. Hmmm.... reasonably tall. Reasonably thin. Curly brown hair. I thought of two possibilities: Arnold Horshack (Welcome Back, Kotter) and Tom Baker's doctor (Doctor Who). I chose the Doctor. At the event, a member of my club was also in another club. Going back and forth, he saw another "Doctor." He introduced us. She is now my wife, 40 years and still going.
In 1983, there was a Doctor Who convention at Hyatt Regency O'Hare. My girlfriend (mentioned above) and I attended. The airport was the only place nearby to get anything. I boarded the shuttle back to the hotel from the airport. Then, a friend working the convention sat Peter Davison (the fifth Doctor) next to me. (I have to interrupt the story for background information. When planning for the fourth Doctor, they decided to give the Doctor a scarf. They had to search to find someone to make a scarf. The woman was so excited that BBC wanted her to make a scarf, she knit up ALL the yarn. They got a 12-foot scarf and decided to use it. In later years, they used longer scarves. In his first episode as the Doctor, Peter Davison unraveled the scarf.) When Peter Davison sat down next to me on the shuttle bus, I was dressed as Tom Baker's Doctor. I said to him: "I feel inappropriately attired." He replied, "I could unravel your scarf." I immediately reacted with the first thought in my head. I said "My mother would KILL you!"
In 1985, there was a convention at Hyatt Regency Chicago. When checking out, I asked for the carbon paper. (All credit card machines at the time had a slide bar and carbon paper for making copies.) The clerk said "Oh yeah. You're from New York. They have crime there." I was not going to let that pass. I emphatically said "Chicago doesn't have police or jails!!?? Didn't someone named CAPONE live somewhere around here!!??" The clerk did not respond.
And finally, this one is my "almost" claim to fame. Majel Barrett came to conventions to get fan opinions about a new show called Star Trek: The Next Generation. She shared behind-the-scenes information. For example, the doctor was named Crusher to keep the character apart from Dr. McCoy. No one would dare call her "Bones Crusher." She also read the opening words. In the original series, those words are: "Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. Its five year mission, To explore strange new worlds, To seek out new life And new civilizations. To boldly go where no man has gone before." The words she read for the new opening for Star Trek: The Next Generation ended with "where no human has gone before." I suggested: "where no ONE has gone before." That's what they ultimately landed on. I have nothing that definitively connects my suggestion to the words they chose. But I suggested it. They said it. I do not know if they changed it because of me.
Now, a recommendation. Of all the recent Star Trek series, I consider Star Trek: Prodigy to be the best. It is consistent with canon. It is on Netflix. Please watch the episodes in order.
(V) & (Z) respond: Wow. If you'd made a different choice, you might have ended up married to John Travolta.
B.W. in Boston, MA, writes: Joe Biden agrees with you about Michael J. Fox as a gold-medal Canadian, and just awarded him the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
D! S! in Layton, UT!!! (Explanation points to emphasize my disgust!!!), writes: Ptui, ptui, ptui.
I will give you Michael J. Fox, but seriously... Neil Young over Leonard Cohen????? Have you been eating the lead paint?????
You may as well have picked Paul Anka.
(V) & (Z) respond: If it helps, fourth place came down to a coin flip between Cohen and Justin Bieber.
J.G. in El Cerrito, CA, writes: You wrote, after suffering food poisoning: "(Z) knew that poutine didn't taste right."
That you had even thought it potentially good in the first place is proof of the insidious nature of the Canadian assault on our values.
(V) & (Z) respond: A fair point.
E.P. in Natick, MA, writes: Given your recent listing of favorite mustards, I wanted to share one of my recent discoveries which I consider to be the absolute best hotdog mustard around: Walter's.
Some may consider the inclusion of relish within a mustard to be heresy. I, too, was a skeptic. But with nearly 100 years of history behind it, it has stood the test of time. I can only urge you to give it a try.
R.C. in Denver, CO, writes: In case you weren't aware of it, I hope next time you are in Wisconsin for a Packer game, you stop by the Mustard Museum just outside of Madison.
R.B. in Cleveland, OH, writes: This mustard shop was founded just down the street from my home, in part by well-known local chef Michael Symon. They use whole mustard grains and are fantastic.
J.T. in Marietta, GA, writes: Best mustard? Moutarde de Meaux. So delicious. Hard to get here, but you can find it in any decent-sized grocery store in Paris. I had it in a simple sauce (mixed with mayo or sour cream or something) that was wild on a baked potato. I basically run a mustard smuggling ring when I go to Paris.
(V) & (Z) respond: Though it's known by several (slightly) different names, this is the mustard that (Z) named as the best he's had. And you can definitely get it from Amazon these days.
P.L. in Denver, CO, writes: In a follow up to the various letters about hot dogs and dachshunds, I have a funny story. I have had 10 dachshunds in my life (currently have 2). I got my first doxie when I was 10. Butch was a great and friendly dog. We had a neighbor, Carl, who drove a truck to and from his dry cleaners each day. Butch knew that truck. Each day when Carl would come home, Butch would dash out of the house to go visit Carl. Carl kept a package of hot dogs for Butch. Butch would get a hot dog and then hang with Carl on his recliner for a bit and then come home.
Doxies are the best!
G.R. in Carol Stream, IL, writes: Who would have thunk that getting Electoral-Vote.com back up and running would take longer than electing a Speaker of the House?!
J.T. in Philadelphia, PA, writes: I enjoyed it when you published the questions before you got around to answering them. I often tell myself that I'm going to try to think of an answer before I read yours, but when your answer is staring me right in the face, I usually don't bother. Today I actually did, at least on those questions where I felt I had an answer.
(V) & (Z) respond: We may try to do some version of this in the future, if we can figure out logistics.
D.A. in Indianola, IA, writes: As an Adjunct Professor of Computer Science in a small liberal arts college, I wonder if (V) realizes the longevity and power of his single quote in the "Computer Networks" series of textbooks: "Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway."
It is still very true, but my students today don't know about either station wagons or tapes.
Anyway, (V), thanks for the statement. I still use it in classes.
R.L.D. in Sundance, WY, writes: This is out-of-the-ordinary for the Last Words feature, but I'm sending it anyway.
My Quaker parrot, Max, my little birdy buddy for more than 25 years passed away this week. Quakers (also known as Monk Parakeets) are often considered agricultural pests and officially banned in Wyoming, making him an illegal immigrant when we brought him north from Texas. Max didn't have a big vocabulary, but he did learn a few things in his life. Good morning. Time for night-night. Hello. Pretty bird. I love you. I tried to teach him "Birds don't talk" but he only ever really said "Birds don't." He was unusually quiet in his last days, so I can't be sure, but I think his last words were "I'm a good bird." Time for night-night, little buddy.
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