May11

electoral-vote.com

Dem 51

   

GOP 49

Lucky Number 13 for "George Santos"

Rep. "George Santos" (R-NY) appeared in court yesterday, as expected. He entered a plea of "not guilty" and posted $500,000 bail. His indictment was also unsealed; you can read it here, if you wish.

Santos is charged with 13 separate criminal acts, including wire fraud, money laundering and theft of public funds. Too bad it's boring, garden-variety stuff, because readers wrote in with a bunch of much more interesting guesses. Here are some of those, starting with the two we got at least a dozen times:

• C.K. (and friends) in Santa Fe, NM: Obviously, the feds finally cracked the case of D.B. Cooper.
• S.S. in West Hollywood, CA: Jimmy Hoffa. 'Nuff said.
• S.K. in Sunnyvale, CA: The original decision to use excessively-large 8-space indentation in the Linux kernel codebase.
• T.B. in Richardson, TX: He shot his old lady—caught her messin' round with another man.
• J.P. in Horsham, PA: "Santos" must have shot the sheriff (but he did not shoot the deputy).
• E.P. in Tillson, NY: He let the dogs out! Woof-woof-woof-woof!
• J.K. in Albany, OR: He talked about Fight Club.
• E.W. in Wauwatosa, WI: Is his unexplained presence on the USS Maine on a certain night in Havana finally coming under the microscope?
• C. the Cat in Danby, NY: Stepping on my tail while stealing my breakfast.
• K.E. in Chicago, IL: He framed Roger Rabbit.
• B.B. in Buda, TX: He stole Christmas, that grinch.
• T.R. in Hillsborough, NC: "Santos" changed enough votes (in every state) to give Biden the presidency.
• A.W. in Keyser, WV: I think the charges will reveal that "George Santos" is actually the Zodiac Killer, Ted Cruz.
• A.G. in Plano, TX: Wearing white after Labor Day? Ordering red wine with fish?
• J.C. in Mullinsville, KS: Performing drag in Tennessee.
• M.M. in Plano, TX: I will not make a charge against George Santos because he has been my friend for twelve decades. I was with him when he raised the American flag on Iwo Jima and the Soviet flag over the Reichstag, simultaneously. I had the honor of welcoming him when he returned from the Apollo XXXVIII mission. This was the longest Apollo mission because of a detour to Jupiter so that George could visit his parents.

In our insta-poll, about 2% of respondents had "Santos" lasting less than a week. On the other end, nearly 30% think he will make it through his entire term. The average guess is that he has just under 280 days left before he exits, stage right. If correct, that would have him leaving office on... Valentine's Day of next year. Really. Isn't it romantic?

In any event, one day in the not-too-distant future, Santos is toast. Recall that the feds don't file charges unless they believe they have an overwhelming chance of success. And not only did they file charges here, they filed a baker's dozen of them. Oh, and it's the sorts of things that leave lots of nice, juicy paper trails. Fortunately for "Santos," he's used to hard time, after sitting all those years in the Bastille wearing that uncomfortable iron mask.

When Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) said he was taking a wait-and-see approach, and he'd decide what his opinion is once he sees the charges, we were rather skeptical that he would actually back "Santos'" ouster. And whaddya know, the Speaker says he thinks "Santos" should keep his job. McCarthy did, however, announce that he will not support "Santos'" reelection bid. That is very bold leadership, Mr. Speaker. In other news, McCarthy also announced he will not be backing Captain Ahab vs. Moby Dick, the New Jersey Generals vs. the Harlem Globetrotters, or Shazam! Fury of the Gods for this year's Best Picture Oscar.

The basic problem is that McCarthy, whatever his other strengths or weaknesses might be, knows how to count. "Santos" was, quite literally, the deciding vote that got the debt-ceiling bill over the line. The Speaker will need every vote he can get for future budget stuff, an anti-China bill his conference is working on, and a couple of immigration bills that are in progress, at the very least.

That said, many Republicans are weary of this story sucking up all the oxygen, and they think that if "Santos" isn't going to survive anyhow, it's best to put as much distance as possible between his exit and next year's elections. It's certainly within the realm of possibility that McCarthy keeps "Santos" around for another month or two and then, once the debt-ceiling mess is past and all the show bills have made their way through the House, he cuts bait. (Z)