Dem
51
GOP
49
As a reminder, we launched this feature by accident 2 years ago, with a couple of poems about Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX). But since we have multiple items today about Donald Trump's bad behavior, we are going to let him bat leadoff this year. First, from E.O.S. in Eatontown, NJ:
"On the last day of Christmas (January 6th)"
On the last day of Christmas
My voters gave to me:Twelve unhinged rallies
Eleven fake electors
Ten assault allegations
Ninety-one indictments
Eight kids in cages
Seven alt-right bloggers
Six lawyers stalling
Five miles of wall
Four jail bookings
Three children shilling
Two pop vote losses
and... an insurrection on TV
And it wouldn't be a December to Rhymember without at least one or two takes on "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General," like this one from A.C. in Highland Park, IL:
I am the very model of a modern Trump conservative.
I am convinced that Biden's only living through preservatives.
I want to own the libs and so I purchase MAGA merchandise.
Of course for Jan. 6th I've lined up all my alibis.
The Deep State and the globalists, the RINOs and the Loony Ds
Are no match for our leader's profound mental mediocrity.
He fights the Left, he built the wall, his Supreme Court canceled Roe v. Wade.
To help him I will donate more so his attorneys can be paid.
I am convinced that Trump is electorally invincible,
To "Stop the Steal" I will act beyond reason, rhyme or principle.
Even if the "witch hunt" ends in five or more convictions
No chance in hell of ending our Donald Trump addictions.
Reagan and the Neocons and even libertarians
Are less my jam than demonizing middle school librarians.
In short, my values hold less water than a very leaky sieve,
I am the very model of a modern Trump conservative.
And so it begins. Reader submissions continue to be welcome; send them here. (Z)