Dem
51
GOP
49
Another round of song parodies! We ended with the Beatles yesterday, so why not start with the Beach Boys today? That was the thought that M.L. in Encino, CA, had when writing this take on "Wouldn't It Be Nice":
Wouldn't it be nice if Joe was younger
Then we wouldn't have to make a choice
And wouldn't it be nice to vote together
For the kind of guy that speaks with our voice
You know it's gonna make it that much better
If we can vote for Joe instead of Bernie
Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning of November 6
And after having spent the whole night counting
Congratulate ourselves for another win
A happy 4-year term we've been enjoying
I wish Joe's presidency could keep on going
Oh, wouldn't it be nice?
Maybe if we campaign and educate and vote
It might come true
Maybe then the Trump Republicans won't even try to sue
We could be Democratic (we could be Democratic)
And then we'd be happy (and then we'd be happy)
Oh, wouldn't it be nice?
You know it seems to me the more we think about it
We absolutely have to try it
Oh, wouldn't it be nice?
Or, if the 1970s are more your style, there's this homage to Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" from R.E.M. in Brooklyn, NY
Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Faked my own landslide,
No escape from duplicity
Close up your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see,
I'm just a rich boy, I need cash laundering,
Because I'm easy come, easy go
Russian might, Russian blow
Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me
Putin, just killed a man
Put poison in his tea
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life had just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooh (any way the wind blows)
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters
Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time
Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, ooh (any way the wind blows)
I will not resign,
I sometimes wish I'd never been elected at all...
I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramucci, Scaramucci, will you sing the Fandango?
Blunder quotes and lying
Very, very frightening me
(Comey lay low) Comey lay low
(Comey lay low) Comey lay low
Comey lay low, see memos
Obstructio-o-o-o-o
I'm just a rich boy, nobody loves me
He's just a rich boy from a rich family
Snare him for life for his monstrosity
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
Bob Mueller! No, he will not let you go (let me go!)
Bob Mueller! He will not let you go (let me go!)
Bob Mueller! He will not let you go (let me go!)
Will not let you go (let him go!)
Never, never let you go
Never let me go, oh
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Oh, Rosensteina, Rosensteina (Rosensteina, let me go)
Special Counsel has a prison put aside for me, for me, for me
So you think you can moan Amendment Twenty-Five? (Yeah!)
So you think you can shove me and push me aside?
Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here
Pence will really matter
After I'm impeached
Pence will really matter
Pence will really matter
If he pardons me...
And finally, continuing the parade of cultural references that are at least 40 years old, here's a re-imagining of "The Ballad of Jed Clampett" from C.W. in Littleton, CO:
Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named Trump
Poor millionaire planned to run for President
He squeaked out a shocking Electoral victory
Loaded up his golf cart, putt-putted to D.C.
Washington that is, lobbyists ... bureaucrats
Next thing you know he hired crooks and kin.
The swamp filled up; he welcomed all the vermin in.
He fibbed and he tweeted "truthed" and he ranted at the Press.
By day ninety-nine, he was in a mighty hot mess.
Russia that is, Ukraine, collusion ... covfefe
Soon a Special Prosecutor combed the murky trails,
Of back channels, sanctioned banks and hacked e-mails.
He followed the money, ferreted out the lies
And we hoped he'd hand the White House gang a mighty big surprise
Prison that is, orange jump suits, no golf ... didn't happen
The misbegotten TFG presidency decayed and died
Joseph Biden was duly elected far and wide
But TFG continued performing IRS cheats,
Stealing classified documents, and conjuring illegal feats
"Election Fraud" that is, "It'll Be Wild" ... "Hang Mike Pence"
The January 6th Committee was formed to reveal
All the nasty details of TFG's traitorous "Stop the Steal"
We watched live broadcasts of shocking acts and grift
And 32 criminals cowardly "pleaded the fifth"
"Who me?" that is ... "Sorry, I don't recall."
And now it's time to say goodbye to this sordid tale
Decency will win out and the truth will prevail
You're all invited back right here in 2024
When we'll surely elect Dark Brandon president once more
The Constitution wins that is ... stay involved, y'all vote now, y'hear? (Orange jumpsuits anyone?)
We'll see what tomorrow brings. On Monday of next week, we'll wrap it up with some New Year's themed verse. We are still accepting submissions, of course. (Z)