This is the last entry we will run before the Christmas holiday, so it's a bit on the lengthy side. We shall start with a reimagining of a classic holiday song, courtesy of B.C. in Phoenix, AZ:
Deck the House with right-wing folly
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Liars and cheats all melancholy
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Don we now anti-gay apparel
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Troll the Christian's bigoted carol
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
See the flaming Capitol before us
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Grab a gun and join Trump's chorus
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Follow in malicious measure
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
While I tell of post-coup treasure
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Fast away the old guard passes
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Hail the dumbass lads and lasses
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Sing we feckless, all together
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Heedless of a truth-based tether
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
And this, in much the same vein, from D.M. in Asheville, NC:
Donald the snowman
Was a mean old hunk of ice
And every pol in the neighborhood
Knew Donald wasn't nice
He pinches docs
He fleeces rubes
He lies both here and there
If you're bold enough to call him out
He whines that you're unfair
Oh, Donald the snowman
You're rotten every day
And I'll be glad when the DOJ
Takes you all away
A reimagining of the first lines of the best-known Christmas poem, from B.V. in Chicago, IL:
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through his house,
Was the selling of grift from the Mar-a-Lago louse
The stockpile of cash was shrinking in the lair,
With hopes that a reduction of taxes could provide him great care
His children were worried, crazy, and misled
But dear old daddy was indeed out of bread.
A Christmas haiku from C.W. in Littleton, CO:
For Christmas this year
Bring me hope and good cheer and
Make Trump disappear
And this submission from C.K. in Rochester, NY seemed like a good grand finale to us:
The coffee is brewing
The ipads are out
Morning talk's lacking
But then there's a shout!
That dang Crystal Ball
Oh where are "our guys"?
How dare they, such gall!
Don't they hear our cries?
Refresh, refresh, spin
Sip coffee and wait —
E-V let's begin!
(V) and (Z) at our plate!
But lo, we'll remember,
they're dealing with news —
and here it's December
with TFG not defused!
So yes, (V) and (Z) know
that as much as we grumble
when Crystal Ball shows
We're ever so humble
Merry Christmas to you —
with thanks to "our guys"
For all that you do —
may EV com thrive!
We thank you for the kind words, and we thank all the readers for giving us some of their valuable time every day. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, a blessed Winter Solstice, and a successful Festivus for all, and have a great weekend! Oh, and we'll still be running more verse next week; send your submissions here if you are so inclined. (Z)